I stumbled on relationship coach David Deida’s website through some friends who are his students…And in this free excerpt from one of his books I found an interesting theory on why we eat chocolate…..The explanation which I’ve often felt/thought and you probably already know but may never have articulated in words or framed in this context, is interesting….Deida says, in the chapter “Express Who You Really Are” from his book “Blue Truth”:
Every day you want to do many things, from hugging your lover to earning money. Why? What feeling underlies all your hopes and dreams? This feeling is the tension between who you really are and who you assume yourself to be.
Consider your desire for intimate relationship. There are many reasons for engaging in a relationship. But you only feel utterly fulfilled in intimacy when you and your lover trust each other so much that you are willing to let down your guards, open your hearts, and love. This is your deepest desire in intimacy because, in truth, you are open as love—but you assume yourself to be a separate, isolated individual. So you scheme and dream to experience in your relationship what, in truth, you already are.
You want to enjoy financial security because, in truth, you are abundance, although you assume only effort will provide a feeling of ease. You enjoy dangerous sports because in every moment you are at the edge of death—the ultimate edge of winning or losing—and yet your assumed security makes you seek risks. You want to eat chocolate because, deep in your heart, you are blissful fullness, though you often close to its pleasure and so seek its taste.
Through your daily round, you seek to approximate the truth of who you are that you have lost touch with. This drama of approximation is the story of your life. You never quite succeed like you hope to. You never quite get the love you really want. And so you either try harder or give up trying. In either case, you are missing the point of existence.
The open expression of who you really are is the only thing that will free you from the stress of feeling incomplete. In truth, you are what you want.
The part that rings most true for me is that we are what we want. Maybe our wants are programmed into our hearts because we are meant to have them, to fulfill our mission on earth.
In my Gratitude and Goals notebook I always set what I’m grateful for before my goal. They are part of the same trajectory. I have already attained a lot of what I want towards any of my goals. I give thanks for what I’ve just attained and set the next goal on the path.
This way I’m not always in a state of just wanting. Rather I can see that I’m on a path in which my wants and needs are met and guide me towards the next goal; the next step in the journey unfolds.
As our gratitude increases (through practice) we also increase our ability to receive more, — and to notice that we are receiving it!
But back to Deida’s writing, I really resonated with: “You want to eat chocolate” (or whatever it is you want to eat emotionally) ”because, deep in your heart, you are blissful fullness”
….Hmmm, that’s so true. Can I open up to that blissful fullness now? Take a deep breath and find it. There it is! ….I will have to try this when I’m craving chocolate next and see if it takes away the craving, filling me up with my own blissful fullness!
“though you often close to its pleasure and so seek its taste”. …Yeah, it’s probably when I can’t find that blissful fullness that the chocolate craving sets in. Time to do what I know I need to do to re-connect with my bliss. Why am I cut off from it?
For me, it probably means I have not been practicing enough of my sanity maintenance activities…prayer, gratitude, work, creativity, exercise, cleaning….something is out of balance. Maybe I’ve been eating like crap, not including enough fruit and veggies, especially dark leafy greens, smoothies, etc…
Maybe there is something I know I have to do, but have neglected to do, like giving thought to what I really want in my career. Sometimes it is hard to take time-out for thinking. But then that chocolate craving becomes a blessing, a really great symbol or reminder that it is time to attend to your needs or suffer the consequences!
The above excerpt goes on to be even more interesting and you can read the whole thrilling conclusion – and solution – here….http://www.deida.info/books/blue-truth/express-who-you-really-are
What do you think? Comment below!